DISCUSSION: my twilight rewatch

I’ve talked about how much the Twilight soundtracks slap, and now I’ve finally done it: I rewatched the entire Twilight saga movies so you don’t have to (mind you, I was planning on doing this BEFORE the Midnight Sun news but I didn’t actually get around to it till right after the announcement). And yes, of course I was procrastinating studying for finals.

I have a habit of fixating on some piece of media at the end of every semester (see: I reread all of the Shadowhunters books in like 2.5 weeks [namely, all 6 Mortal Instruments books in 6 days] and another time, I watched all of Game of Thrones in 3 weeks [that was such a wild time tbh]), and this was what I resorted to at the end of a very long, stressful semester.

So yeah, two months ago, I rewatched all FIVE Twilight movies within one week. For background, I have watched all of the movies before and I’ve seen bits and pieces of all the movies (except Eclipse) since then, but I haven’t watched any of the movies all the way through in quite some time.

I did live tweet my thoughts, and this post basically compiles all of those tweets in one place. I have edited some of it so it’s more coherent because my tweets never really made sense and I had to type really fast back then.

I wanted to provide some more context by adding screencaps, and lo and behold, I found a website that has a screencap for every second of all of the movies. They’re all from movie-screencaps.com. I would’ve found gifs if I could to really drive the point home for some of these moments, but it’s difficult googling random, insignificant scenes from a movie so enjoy the multiple screenshots.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

  1. Twilight
  2. New Moon
  3. Eclipse
  4. Breaking Dawn: Part 1
  5. Breaking Dawn: Part 2

underlined = my edited thoughts
bolded = I thought I/this was funny here and I still do so it deserves some recognition

TWILIGHT
  • bella saying “I would miss the heat” in arizona when she’s pale as fuck, this is not true!!
  • the way that she cradles a little cactus when she moves to forks oh my god [WAIT I JUST NOTICED THAT SHE JUST DUG THE LITTLE CACTUS UP TO REMIND HER OF ARIZONA I A;SLDJF;SLDKFJ]
  • WHY IS ERIC DRESSED LIKE A WAITER
  • why is bella wearing an olive baseball/bowling jersey over a slate gray long sleeved shirt, what is the fashion in this movie
  • i wish i could pull off as melodramatic an entrance as when the cullens walk into the cafeteria, all in coordinating clothes!!
  • i honestly wish they filmed all 5 movies with this teal indie vibe with the shaky cameras, like imagine the birth scene but filmed like a documentary with a teal palette
  • edward’s introduction to bella very much comes off with killer/stalker vibes!!
  • imagine being an extra in the twilight films like. just imagine that experience
  • “did you get contacts” ”yeah no it’s the…it’s the fluorescents” AJDJCJXJ
  • why is bella hung up on how FAST Edward got to her and not the fact that he PUSHED the van somehow??
  • my sister when edward insists she’s remembering the parking lot scene wrong: “he’s GASLIGHTING her”
  • “bella, look, it’s a worm!!” okay honestly eric is the most valid character
  • “what if I’m not the hero…what if I’m the bad guy?” I hate it here
  • why are they playing “I caught myself” in the background of the prom dress shopping scene??
  • the way that I could recognize the song just from the repetitive instrumental 12 years later…
  • “I feel very protective of you” there are SO many red flags here!!
  • ah the iconic “say it. say it out loud” scene
  • THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER BELLA!!
  • so the lion fell in love with the lamb,,, [how ridiculous is this line, how bad was it delivered]
  • honestly tho this movie serves a level of drama that we received regularly in 2008-2012 but has not been served since then
  • shut up abt bella’s blood! shut up abt bella’s blood!
  • “is she even italian” “her name is bella”
  • maybe me choosing “clair de lune” to play all those years ago was my subconscious telling me something
  • iconic:
Image
  • SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE TIME!!
  • nothing goes or will ever go as hard as the twilight soundtrack did
  • they did not have to do charlie like that [when they have to escape and bella treats him like SHIT]
  • my sister: why does edward have to be the one to suck out the venom
    me: bc he’s the only one who loves her enough to stop
    her: really?? the guy who compared her to his own personal brand of heroin??
    me: you’re right
  • my sister: why is she wearing leggings under her prom dress
    me: bc her bare knees would offend edward’s puritan values!! her bare skin would set him off!!
  • jacob showing up to prom dressed like a reject hogwarts student?? to convince bella to break up with edward?? bc his dad paid him $20???
  • edward kissing bella’s neck very obscenely at prom is that “is this allowed?? IS THIS ALLOWED??” vine
  • thus ends my rewatch of twilight sorry you had to deal with barrage of tweets but good news for u, I need to go to sleep and cannot watch new moon rn
NEW MOON
  • I have had a very long day so I really need this
  • you can tell they have a way bigger budget and production level now lmao
  • my sister: who directed this. a MAN??
  • “bella you give me everything just by breathing” WHAT. WHAT!!
  • the teacher calling edward out and then him proceeding to recite a whole stanza?? I would be v creeped out if a kid in my class could do that
  • jamie campbell bower lol
  • Bella’s like “I could protect you. if you change me” how? how?? how????
  • how tf does she cut herself that badly on wrapping paper??
  • bella saying she would definitely take away edward’s soul if their positions were reversed I can’t —
  • she’s so ready to leave charlie, he doesn’t deserve this!!
  • she just collapses in the forest for hours?? what is this??
  • ah yes the iconic dramatic time lapse sitting at the window scene
  • she just sits at their empty lunch table skslsjdjdj
  • I FORGOT THAT THEY SHOW EDWARD’S FLOATING GHOSTLY HEAD I HATE THIS
  • can’t believe this whole movie is just edward: bitch no, bella: bitch yes
  • the fucking SWERVE when jacob tried to lace fingers with bella and she very swiftly maneuvers her hand out of his, I am SCREAMING
  • jacob running around in the rain in denim shorts
  • the little edward cullen in my mind: lie. lie better.
  • “come on in, bella, we don’t bite” “spEaK For YOuRSelf”
  • “will you shut up? these are TRADE SECRETS. this chick runs with vampires”
  • my sister and I can’t stop talking abt all the werewolves and their EXTREMELY low slung shorts?? like jacob wears denim shorts?? but his friends wear cargo shorts and basketball shorts?? and they’re always shirtless??
  • “what, am I not the right kind of monster for you?” lowkey reads like a tumblr post that would go viral out of context
  • this horribly cgi’d scene where bella’s drowning and edward is floating next to her…catherine hardwicke wouldn’t have done this to us
  • all this bc of a miscommunication smh
  • all this bc jacob picked up the phone…again all bc of a miscommunication
  • my sister when edward dramatically walks out, slowly unbuttoning his shirt: edward u dumb slut
  • “edward, put a shirt on, u dumb slut”
  • why are they dressed exactly like the characters of tuck everlasting in this vision
  • [and then I proceeded to dissociate about the book summary for Breaking Dawn and how I was a CHILD when I read this book]
ECLIPSE
  • my phone is plugged in so I will not be tweeting as much, so you’re in luck rip
  • okay it’s been 15 minutes but I have Many Thoughts, here are a lot of them even tho I’ve already half-forgotten them
  • again, I remember eclipse the least so this is like watching it for the first time
  • stop showing the fucking meadow like I GET IT!! it’s a MOTIF!!!
  • I maintain that edward insists on marrying bella bc he wants to lock that down and make sure she doesn’t just want him for, you know, the ability to turn her into a vampire
  • me @ bella: shut up abt being turned!! shut up abt being turned!!
  • they really believe she’s going to the university of alaska??? like??? what??? [like,,,doesn’t this seem a little suspicious to them]
  • the music they play when jacob turns around, I can’t ahsjdkdk
  • now they’re ALL wearing denim shorts I can’t do this
  • stephenie meyer really had to sprinkle another love triangle in here huh [I don’t remember who this was about lmao maybe Seth + Emily + Leah??]
  • bella: have you imprinted on someone?
    jacob: …you would know if I did
    my sister: little do you know
  • “I’d rather you be really dead than one of them” wow this got dark REALLY fast
  • rosalie, best character
  • ughhh this is so boring!! at least in new moon, there was the drama of bella making stupid decisions
  • I’m pretty sure they got tired of making everyone super pale so they just desaturated the entire shot
  • jasper’s accent nooooo
  • I’m so bored!!!
  • “edward is old-school” “is that code for something?”
  • “dad! I’m a virgin” AND THEN SHE JUST THROWS UP A THUMBS UP AND RUNS OUT [and charlie’s reaction ;lsjf;alskdjf]
  • “stop trying to take your clothes off, bella”
  • “you’re making me feel like some kind of villain trying to steal your virtue or something”
  • [I could NOT remember the context of this and I googled it and found the script below, enjoy]
  • [where are those tumblr posts arguing whether edward is a virgin or not]
  • why is edward getting so emotional about not getting to court bella like it’s been a CENTURY get used to it!!
  • this engagement ring is so ugly…
  • yeah I am not tweeting as much bc this really is so boring, it’s all just love triangle stuff and her relationship with jacob is just so underdeveloped so I really don’t care!! about any of this!!
  • kristen stewart’s hair is different in literally every shot…what is continuity
  • I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, eclipse is the worst movie!!
  • my sister finally believes me abt this lmao
  • some of the other movies are Bad but at least there’s Drama or just general cringeiness that you can make fun of…this was so boring
  • oh god the fucking meadow again
  • well, it’s only going upwards from here (as in, at least both breaking dawn movies will be entertaining)
BREAKING DAWN: PART 1
  • will this be a different experience bc I’m watching during the daytime? yes
  • jacob storming off into the rain when he gets bella and edward’s wedding invitation lmao
  • IS edward a virgin tho [see, I brought this up here too]
  • honestly anna kendrick is right and she should say it [her questioning why they’re getting married RIGHT out of high school]
  • I mean…them getting dramatically married in a FOREST like 2 months after graduation is def weird
  • her ring is so gross ughhhh [I hate her ring; every time it showed up, my sister and I would refer to it as her uglyass ring]
  • my sister: this is like in 50 shades of grey —
  • [my sister, about charlie:] “I too would want to get super drunk if my 18yo daughter were getting married to someone I hate”
  • Charlie’s speech noooooo
  • everyone’s just giving speeches at the reception??? is this a roast???
  • “no measure of time with you will be enough but let’s start with forever” I CAN’T this is so cheesy
  • is it like a set precedent that a vampire having sex with a human would hurt them like why does everyone (namely jacob) think she’ll die if edward fucks her
  • why does he not tell her where they’re going on their honeymoon??? I would def be weirded out
  • bella is so horny oh my god
  • EDWARD BREAKING THE BED I AM IN TEARS
  • why would feathers from the night before still be floating around
  • the decision to show the sex scene over bella “blissfully” remembering the night before…I’m so sorry kristin stewart [the scene was like,,,her “reminiscing” while the sex scene was intercut and I hated it]
  • bella trying to seduce edward I can’t stop laughing
  • my sister: why do they keep playing chess
    me: it’s the most non-sexual activity he can think of
  • “they engage in physically exhausting outdoor activities day after day”
  • to TIRE her out so he doesn’t have to sleep with her this is so
  • imagine being carlisle and getting a call that your human daughter-in-law is somehow pregnant with your vampire son’s child
  • the christian values really jumped out huh
  • poor leah 😦
  • are they really making bella sleep in the couch [she’s PREGNANT!]
  • they really wrote [rosalie saying to jacob] “you got FOOD in my hAiR!” and thought this was a necessary scene
  • remember how I was like, why did [stephenie meyer] have to write bella’s pregnancy from jacob’s pov but honestly yeah I wouldn’t have wanted to hear any more of this
  • [the tweet is below for context]
  • the dramatic pause as she takes her first sip of blood…very disturbing
  • they filmed the birth scene like a horror movie
  • when they show the venom going through her bloodstream…catherine hardwicke would not have done this to us
  • okay ngl the flashbacks reversing through the past 3 movies was kinda cool
  • we are going straight into part 2 but I am anticipating it will be boring
BREAKING DAWN: PART 2
  • I watched a good chunk of this one a couple of months ago bc it was on and I was too lazy to change the channel…I was half-asleep even though it was only like 7pm
  • monster baby monster baby monster baby
  • YOU NICKNAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!!
  • this weird montage of their faces morphing ew
  • ICONIC
Image
  • “I was born to be a vampire” uhhhhh
  • see, I have watched the rest of this somewhat recently so idk if it’s worth watching the rest of it but I also want to finish all of the movies completely
  • why wouldn’t the volturi come immediately like how do they have time to travel and gather everyone
  • emmett is just there to look pretty…he’s the himbo of the group
  • renesmee just asked bella if alice and jasper ran away bc they’re all going to die, you cannot make this up!! [she is like a few months old realistically, why is she thinking about this!!]
  • they have a giant sculpture of a pair of scissors and i just want to know who did the set design for their house
  • okay I understand that they did the whole “battle scene” to add a twist for the drama of it all but imagine seeing this in theaters not knowing lmao
  • avengers: endgame battle WISHES it could be the breaking dawn: part 2 battle
  • [jacob:] “should I start calling you dad?” EWWW EWWW EWWWWW
  • goddammit the fucking meadow again
  • a thousand years christina perri rights!!
  • god remember when that and it will rain was on the radio 24/7…better times
  • AND WE’RE DONE!!! FINALLY!!!

FINAL RANKING:

  1. Twilight
  2. New Moon
  3. Breaking Dawn: Part 2
  4. Breaking Dawn: Part 1
  5. Eclipse

Twilight is objectively the best because of plot and cinematography, plus add that nostalgia factor, and it can’t be topped. Eclipse is obviously the worst because it’s so BORING! Legitimately nothing happens; it’s all love triangle drama and not even good drama. Everything else is honestly just filler, like, New Moon had DRAMA at least, but the last two movies just dragged on and on.

Have you watched the Twilight saga movies? When’s the last time you’ve watched them?

5 thoughts on “DISCUSSION: my twilight rewatch”

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